LeArN bUt dOnt ImiTate. Just bE yOurSeLF

::sigh:: the new life

2006-08-01T14:25:17Z

i´ve been sitting here for two hours.. God knows how much its gonna be... and yet i ahvent spoken to any of my buddies... it sucks having to see their lives thru comments and pictures in which im not included...i know that the move was a must in our lives i just cant seem to completly get ajusted. i miss my friends my weekends the sushi my madrina with faults n all...i miss being alone in the apt and meeting up with a certain sumone in the middle fo the night. but i what i miss more is being able to see the joys of my life of making new memories of speaking fluently in english with another person other than my bro.
here i am reading through journals to find out the cheesee only to find myself more depressed than i was at the beginning. why is it im soo ´ínconforme´?? gosh it all seems to just keep cycling i need to get out of this bad karma cycle n start a new life where i can actually be happy... not that i wont miss everythign iKNOW i LOVE... but i mean of loving myself ..thats the cycle i need to start bc if i dont love myself who will? oh how i wish it were next yr n that sumone would come down to visit n that i could ...b skinny like the old days ..i mean its bathing suits all yr long here... fighting back tears... but anywho i guess ill make it short.. its not like anythign i say or do makes sense anyway rite?? almost 2 and a half hours.. i hope i have enough $$$ heheh aaayy... la situacion no esta muy buena...sin tan solo me quisiera un poquito ... pero para que mendingar un amor que nunce ha sentido... the more i think about it the worse i get... so lets change the subject and think of the sun of the lovely friends n great memories that were once made with them... luv ya all...i truly miss each n everyone of them.

shamefull misery

2005-07-25T20:48:56Z

Once again i try to update and NOThing! GggRrR whats wrogn with this.. this comp sux!

TestING..tEsTing

2005-07-08T16:42:22Z

Just testign it out.. lv has been Retarded with me lately... please let me update...

Lv sUX

2005-07-01T15:00:09Z

i tried updating yesterday saved part of it n then when i tried fixing it it wouldnt let me save it.. GgRrr as if i dont have enough goign on! w/e off to my space...

Limbo

2005-07-01T00:34:07Z

i'm feeling a lil tugged n pulled.
it's like im the rope in a tug of war contest. being pulled this way n tugged that way. im tired of being stretch to either extemity. make up your minds! im goign crazy here. i feel the threads slowing ripping and soon enough the rope will b tear. sure each side has its pros n cons i just cant make up my mind as to wich side im rOoting

to the bat-movile

2005-06-20T05:32:27Z

BatMAn Begins KiCks ASS!!!!

i ♥ it! i completly recommend it to U Guys. Sorri bout not making it to the party but i heard ya'll had fun anyway. hopefully there will b plenty more parties... hmm piña coladas.. ro margaritas... hehe bueno manny happy bday once again... hehe xoxo take care...

this was pointless i know... just felt like syaing sumthing...

MAri

One MORE PierCING gONE wrong.

2005-06-17T03:16:38Z

ok so i noticed i had a lil ball behind my cartilage piercing n well the other day it was all yucky i picked at it n it bled bled bled. Not pretty. yesterday i went to sunset place with diana jenny and their cuz daniela and well went into claire's i asked the girl bout my piercing n she said the best thign was ot take it out.. if anythign re pierce it once its healed. HMM That sux!! but oh well... thigns have been ok my lil apt is soo empty. no furniture no beds... its not homie anymore..hopefuly we can finish it up so we can sell it quick.. woohoo that means i geta car! yay! finally i get to drive =)
but besides that i dont wanan sell the house it means living with madrina for a year. i mean i love her to death .. i knwo im the daughter shenever had but she gets on my nerves sumtimes.
i really wished peopel didnt take advantage of me. i did it out of kindness it wa ssumone i cared bout n now im stuk with nothing. i write n i get no response. heck anythign is better than no response. telling me off is better. hmm hope she writes bak and takes responsibility other wise i could b doomed.
please GOD help me. you knwo i need it .. to better myself to do what i gotta do.
to the friends- big shout outs! luv ya!
i guess thats it for now.. i knwo my life isnt exciting.. sowee... mayeb another time... im lookign foward to tom tho ::crosses fingers:: i hope thigns go well! and dee.. call me i need to talk to u... ill prob call u b4 u read this anyway.. bueno xoxo

mari

plnk_star @ 2005-06-02T23:47:00

2005-06-03T03:58:41Z

Can U FeEL ThE Heat???

WoOhOo we wOn... LeTS keept it up... N jUles Hope ya FeeL Better.

xOXo

maRI

P.S : sUrPrISE TOM.. SoO B on THe LooKout! LoL.. nOthign ToO big... soRrI..LOL MUA!

plnk_star @ 2005-06-01T01:37:00

2005-06-01T05:42:38Z

too little ..too late..

just felt liek saying that...and that goes for a lot fo thigns tonite..

xoxo

balls it ell u

2005-06-01T03:45:27Z

VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:16 PM]: hey how's it going
G01d3nSt4r [11:17 PM]: hey pretty godo thnx n urself?
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:17 PM]: doing ok
G01d3nSt4r [11:17 PM]: thats ogod to hear
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:18 PM]: how's the bf status
G01d3nSt4r [11:18 PM]: non existant still..
G01d3nSt4r [11:18 PM]: n u
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:19 PM]: lol nadda...
G01d3nSt4r [11:19 PM]: niice
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:19 PM]: i think that girls are to complicated.
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:19 PM]: atleast the once i meet anyway
G01d3nSt4r [11:19 PM]: yeah i guess we are
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:20 PM]: so um...are we ever going to talk again?
G01d3nSt4r [11:21 PM]: i dunno y?
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:22 PM]: well i dont mean like relationship...just as you know..friends
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:22 PM]: i liked talking to you
G01d3nSt4r [11:22 PM]: oh dont worry i wasnt thinkign relationship either..def not..
G01d3nSt4r [11:23 PM]: yeah i guess it was good.. but we kinda ran out fo thigns to say to each other... u didnt keep in touch either soo..
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:23 PM]: well...im here now
G01d3nSt4r [11:26 PM]: hmm u cant expect for thigns to jsut fall bak rite where we left off..
G01d3nSt4r [11:26 PM]: i dunno..?
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:27 PM]: ...hm...
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:28 PM]: how about a phone call

VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:28 PM]: but hey if its to much dude...i understand
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:30 PM]: ?
G01d3nSt4r [11:31 PM]: hmm
G01d3nSt4r [11:31 PM]: i guess..
G01d3nSt4r [11:31 PM]: we could try to b friends...
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:32 PM]: ok...
G01d3nSt4r [11:33 PM]: i cant now anyway.. but i guess we can try online first n then maybe move up to a fone call
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:33 PM]: sure thing dude...umm...im barely on...
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:33 PM]: i dont live in homestead anymore...
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:34 PM]: im staying at my aunts house in cutler ridge
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:34 PM]: so i guess i'll see you around...
G01d3nSt4r [11:34 PM]: hahaha
G01d3nSt4r [11:34 PM]: ok
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:34 PM]: ??
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:34 PM]: why the laugh
G01d3nSt4r [11:34 PM]: nothign dont worry
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:35 PM]: wow...
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:35 PM]: umm...you know maybe i made a mistake.

G01d3nSt4r [11:35 PM]: yeha i think ur rite..
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:35 PM]: maybe we cant change all the shit we went through.
G01d3nSt4r [11:35 PM]: i think i made a mistake even responding to u...
G01d3nSt4r [11:36 PM]: u knwow hat we cant..
G01d3nSt4r [11:36 PM]: and well i think i knwo all i need to know
VoCalliNcLiNeD [11:36 PM]: ;-)
VoCalliNcLiNeD signed off at 11:36 PM

u can fool me once... but sweety i wont fall again.. i knwo who u are n well ure only the past!

Ropa Vieja

2005-06-01T01:41:48Z

soo yeah ive been sitting on my Bum all weekend pretty much. Nothgn much has been happening. hmm theres more n more boxes in the room and well I guess we'll see how things turn out. hmm.. i Dunno what to think anymore.. or what to do? i hope i get a sign or i dunno if i could seek advice maybe it would b easier.. but hmm.. i dunno what to do?? so yeah skooL was not good las semester... and well i wont b seeing skool for sum time now... and if i decide to go in fall.. i Hope n pray (crosses fingers) that i still get my bright futures. hmm so yeah fri is heaven at space.. reminds me of the night before my own graduation and coming home late to sleep only a lil to then get ready for my hs grad. WOW ... memories...they r great! i Hope i make many great memories to take with me. i cant stand myself lately.. hmm i need help finding myself.. and others i guess.. maybe sum new faces.. new beginnigs might b good... i gotta go bak to reading up on my tarot.. since i havent done that... but i ahve lots of material to read n practice. hmm.. i wish and Long for that sumone to hold n kiss and call my own... this is sum update huh... "ropa vieja" a lil bit of everything. left overs.. thats rite.. hmm well i guess ill leave for now..

::Lonely im soo lonely.. i have nobody For my OwN...::

...MarIO...

My beAUtIfUlL FrIenD

2005-05-24T03:44:16Z

i ♥ it!!

u'll grOw to lOve it! i dO!

xOxO

mAriOtZY

ace of rods

2005-05-20T05:21:10Z

i hope it true! oh how i hope thigns go well and that it comes true. i mean there are other options but one of my own would b great. a gift from above. oh how i love the lil ones. but yeah... i wanta puppy. i think i need to channel all this "maternal" instict stuff onto a lil thing that might show me sum love.
chek this out http://jdane1.homestead.com/Toyandstandard.html hmmm i want choppy chunky n reeve. aww i want the amm they r adorable

xoxo

plnk_star @ 2005-05-19T19:27:00

2005-05-19T23:38:57Z

how i wish there was an easy way out. that there was a way to b just utterly happy. to be able to live life without soo much suffering and distress. i know things cant be perfect heck life wouldnt b as "exciting" but when u have nothign to strive for, life becomes USELESS you become useless. theres no sense to this game we call life. y must i sit here n barely b able to read what im writting because my eyes are filled with tears. tears i cant hold back anymore. this fucking facde and mask that finally comes off. things arent perfect i cant hold it. i cant control my life! i dont have a grip and im falling apart! Gosh i wish things were easier. but by wishing things were easier i only prove myself to b lasier than i am. easy? my whole life i've never had to put effort into anythign. what makes me think that wanting life to be easier is actually gonna change anything. GgGrRR i hate everyone i really do. im not nice im really not! im strogn tempered would anyone knwo that? not unless they ahve gotten me upset. but even then no one has ever truly seen me. im justa big fake. fuck being nice fuck being mad and upset. i wanna be a different person heck i dont wanna b. thats it.. i dont wanna b anything... world im calling outt o u please open up and swallow menot like it would matter. i dont make a difference anyway.

NeW dEvElOPmeNTs

2005-05-17T20:56:24Z

hey ya'LL ... these R KINDA old BuT oH well.. ENjoY

JohnnY'S baLlS---><---JOhNnY'S BALls
im kinda SicK-A-pOop.. YUk!
XOxo
-mARiOtzY-

plnk_star @ 2005-05-16T23:12:00

2005-05-17T03:18:05Z

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

hmm funny how it says i would cheat yet cherish marriage? but i really do belive in the santity of a bond such as the marriage between two people. just thought id take this one since all of u have...

xoxo

pReTtY pIGgLY WigGLiEs

2005-05-13T04:50:47Z

today was pretty good...i got my toes did..watched sum tv..ate..went out looKING for a P.S outfit..bought TWO pairs of shoes..ate sum more..went to sunset place..and bak home.. it was a good day

and to u.. yeah u! (u dont kwo who u are) GROW A pIpi! u sux let me tell u

smOoChES

WOOhOo ITS FRIDAY!

U FuCkiNG IdioT!

2005-05-04T23:48:13Z

what the fuck was i thinking this semester?? dropping everythign but two classes.. and then procastinating on a a paper that was worth a gajillion points! i wrote it the day it was due.. i cited the damn thing. i changed sum words around used some of my own... CITED everythign.. i figured id get a c or sumthign... appearently it was "UNACCEPTABLE" wtf!!! oh my gosh i got a d- in the class...this shit is def not working out...my mom is gonna freak out! oh my gosh! hmm i really hope my fucking dumb ass does sumthing in the future. i need to get my act together if i really want to be a doctor i cant b slacking off like this. the worst thing is i did well on the midterm and final heck i even got 12 out of the 15 discussion points! that fuckign paper! i hate environmental and global society! fuck u evr 1017 and fuck u mr riach!

MarIotzy

FUCK YoU

2005-05-04T06:32:23Z

fuck that shit! im tired of trying.. there's no use in it... no matter what i do i cant seem to get what i want. so you know what.. FUCK YOU. it's as simple as that. GoSH. i let this build up and ggRrRr im so aggrevated. nothing i do helps. should i just give up? that's the last thing i would want to do but im getting so discouraged for some reason i feel like i take a punch everyday.. ok ok maybe not EVERYDAY but pretty often. a freakin kick in the ass. maybe it's just not meant to be.
i wish i could change soo much .. especially the person i am the way i look what i have become wat i have done. hmm.. ::sigh:: as much i think this situatiuon totally sucks im not 100 percent sad or upset. i guess im just gonna have to learn to live with it. Thnx alot! that was a low blow.

MAriOTzy

...

2005-05-04T04:53:32Z

im sitting here staring at the computer screen watching jay leno well listening...life's been pretty good i went to diana's graduation yesterday and went to pawn shop on friday had sushi all weekend.. went to orlando with juli had a talk with her got my feelings out, had family over from venezuela... found out soe things bout the future. had the scare of my life! hmm yeah its been packed with emotions since i last wrote here but its been hard for em to update seeing as i dont ahve dsl and i find it sucha drag to deal with dial up. im so unsatisfied. malagradecida u might even say.. but oh well.. i got used to the fast internet u cant blame me. but anywho..
life keeps changing just another reminded that the only thing that doesnt change is change! i guess it can be good and at times it has been, but what do we do when things dont go the way we want them or chage happens without any warning. sometimes i wish i really could time travel. hmm if only rite? but i cant so i must sit here n accept that things change... people change...

im out i feel like making useless sense of my time...

in the mean time here's a lil bit of what i've been upto these last couple of days

xoxo

*Mari*

Tu no me qUieReS

2005-04-14T03:23:32Z

hmm.. nah its nOt the same. i guess its best like this. life's changing soon anyway. Not like i would expect otherwise.

dOnt knwo really how im feeling, a bit cOnfused you might say. I dOnt liek it One BIt. on a lIgHTer note... i just have to upload pics so i can update about ym bday. thnx to all those who care. xoxo

woOhOo im twenty one... yet i havent had a drink legally.. gotta do sumthign bout that

MarioTzy

gOsh!

2005-04-04T17:51:18Z

what drag!! i just updated and the computer restarted before i could post it up! Oh nOOO!! oh well... here it goes...
what a weekend...
the unexpected happened, the unexplicable, the feared.
lOts of chEeSee .
friday was w/e nothign much happened..although when i came out the shower and saw him dressed up.. i thought...not BAd...hmm jess came over with javi and then kevin and danny showed up. needless to say things weren't going exactly how we planned...fri was supposed to be.. well... a lil more than just that.
sat was another day...we found out jess got into a weetoweeto accident.we had denny's and just chilled @ the telly. JuLES slept while jose and i watched movies...w/e we got dressed invited sum people. JOhnny brought a bottle of tequila. then j and dee came over (i wish u would have stayed longer) kevin ozzy and kenny showed up next with a bOttle of smirnof orange i think..yum stuff..
it had beena while since i drank but w/e.. i was taking tequila shots with johnny with jules and dee jose.. good stuff... a lil strogn but good..lol... w/e im blabbering.. too much details... sorri its just that im bOred here @ skool. w/e.. point being ... sandy and her cuz came over... they drank sandy ended up trashed and almost unconscious in the tub, kenny and Ozzy passed the F* oUt (OoPS... did my hand go in your pants while you were sleeping...) lol..hmm joSE left for a "WALK" german was just chillen so we took more shots.. hmm..strange ppl came to the room.. there was drama... there was barfing there was kissing hmm... wat a nite indeed. kevin ozzy and kenny left bout 7ish i think... i dont even know the time i was "sleeping" in the sofa outside...
i had Fun. thnx JuLi AND joSE! and everyone else who joined us that nite.. hehe let the good times ROLL. lets do it again sumtime. hehehe hmm
we found out kevin got in an accident aww POOR thing.. german got pulled over... hmm what a weekend huh!?
sunday: WOOhOo fOr gIrLyS Day Out!
i had fun girls!! eating, chismiando,eating, exchanging stories, eating sum more, eatign shit.. lol hmm i luv ya girlies.. so yeah... im tired i havent slept much. sat i slept like 3 hours i think.. and well last nite i came home late.. and i had skool this morning.. wat a dRAG! my eyelids are gettign heavier by the minute... so i think im out...

SMooChEs
MisS hEad maSter

this..sucks..the..Biggest..pipi!!!

2005-03-28T19:11:20Z

im..stuk..here..at...this..comp..that...
doesnt..quite...function..too..well...
the..freakin..keypad..is..reatrded..the..space..ar..doesnt..work...and..i..have
to..cut..and..paste..letters...!!!...h0w..much..does..that..suk(question..mark)

my..celly...is..disconnexted..n..i..have..no..way...of..contacting..people...
jess..isnt..coming..to..class..thkfully...i..saw..banky!!hes..gonna..take.me..home..yay!
i..luv..that..chinito!!

hehe...actually..this..is..kinda...entertaining..
considering...the..fact..that..i..have..
nothing..to..do..since..i..dropped...two...of..my..classes...hmm...but..it's..still..a...pain..
i..the..ass...

i..guess..i'll..leave..for..n0w..but...i'll...be..bak

+MariOtzy+

::HMm--mM::

2005-03-24T19:53:30Z

soo yeah... i've missed the updating everyday. my cuz caco came the day of my momma's bday aww how i love him. it was great having him around. we spent time together watched movies went out and ate ate ate... hmm we had sushi at fujiya hmm ate @ friday's the next nite, then sushi ko the nite after that! hMm yuM YUM sushi i ♥ it. hmm i missed jules' bday i was @ madrina's so i could do all the things i wish i would have ... i mean even if i wasnt there it would ahve been kinda hard seeing as idont have a car or anythign but anywho. i saw her yesterday and i wished her a happy bday and gave her our gift. went over to jessie's and wel broke the news to her. i had gotten so used to the deal i had with jules that when jess started crying we all got to crying. i love my friends. it will be hard i dont doubt it but i have to do it. a lil apology for dee: sorri gurli but i got into an arguement with mi familia and well w/e.. crying and all... but thnk u soOoO much. que mas..??? girlies im glad u guys are cool now... i hated the fact that things were so weird. hopefulyl we can all chill. i wanna go to the beach with the milkshakes tom.. and then well for my bday maybe ent.. if i have $$ hmm bueno i gues sim outty i gotta go get ready ... besitos to all

countdown : 13 days

MAriOtZy

I haVe a BuRniNg sEnsAtiON

2005-03-19T04:04:07Z

OK Ok soo my ass stayed on the comp ALL day lOng. didnt worked out. ate seafood rice. the more time progresses the more it burns. It stings and hurts. I guess its just a consequence. But OH well. it will eventually go away once i get used to it. my inner thighs are on fire let me tell u. 50LBS!!! ThNx ANA! lol.. ok mañana is another day.. mañana is my mOmmY's bday! woohoo! I &heart; her to INfiItY N bEYoND! WELl im outies...

~See ya LaTeR AlLiGaToR~

MariOtZY

*LeArN bUt dOnt ImiTate. Just bE yOurSeLF*